Through my many years, many have asked me why people tend to flock towards me and be so open and trusting of me so quickly. So i have pondered this question and have found several key pieces to this simple response. Some people ask me why i am so open in my conversation about myself and my life. And the truth of the matter is, that if you are not willing to open yourself to other people, then why should they be open to you. I’d rather be up front with you now then you speak ill behind my back telling me that i’m fake or shady. i have had several people tell me that when they first met me they did not understand me. They thought i was harsh or a jerk or rude or inconsiderate. And after several conversations over several months, they came to realize, he’s not any of those things. I am just brutally honest about how i feel. Sometimes, I can be so honest that people think that I cannot be telling the truth. My mom taught me a philosophy that i live by to this day.
~ Never lie so that you never have to remember what you said.
~ If you ever ask me for my opinion, you will get 1 of 2 answers, 1) the truth or 2) don’t ask me.
Some tell me i am the most honest person that they know. if you ever ask me for my opinion, i will tell you that you have 2 options if i believe based upon our relationship and your personality, that you cannot handle it. So this is the first part of allowing people to open up to you.
The second skill is one of the greatest skills that i believe that i have honed throughout my life. You have to be able to look beyond yourself and objectively put yourself in another persons perspective. Even if you do not agree with them, you have to be able to empathize and relate to their point of view. This will give you an unfair advantage in developing and implementing a strategy to create a compromise that you both can agree upon.
The third, I would not consider a skill but personal characteristic. You have to be able to handle the feedback whether negative or positive that you will receive back. You cannot feel guilt for your opinion. Never feel sorry for how someone feels about how you feel. People are open about themselves and their beliefs if they believe that you are being open to them also. Everyone wants an ear to hear. We all need an audience so that we do not have to bottle up our emotions. Eventually the pressure has no way but out. There is always going to be a threshold where the bottle cannot handle the pressure and it will inevitably explode whether you want it to or not. So when someone finds someone that they feel comfortable enough to vent to without feeling that they are being judged, they may not have found a friend but they have found a confidant they can release too.
Always strive to become the person you want to be in the world. Because you will only attract who you are not who you want to be.