People tell me that I open too much to strangers. But a stranger is only a new friend that you haven’t met yet. If I can’t open up to them, then how will they ever open up to me. People trust me unconditionally because my heart and my intentions are so transparent that people can easily discern that I have nothing to hide. In our society, extreme, blunt honesty is taken as “something has to be wrong, he has to be lying. He doesn’t know me that well. why would he be willing to open up so easily about his life” I live by this these two philosophies.
“Never lie so that you never have to remember what you said.”
“People that cannot trust usually cannot be fully trusted.”
It is the same as saying that if I can’t truly love myself then I can never truly love someone else. A friend once told me no matter what you do, you can never make someone else love you. It’s their decision and if it’s not meant to be then it is not your fault. It just was not meant to be. I limit who I call my “real” friends. If I say that I am your friend, take it to heart because I do not tell many people that. I have many associates but not very many friends.
“A good friend will come and bail you out of jail…but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “Damn…that was fun!”
I have a handful of friends that I would take a bullet for without a second thought. After a failed relationship, they are there to knock some sense into me that you did all that you could but it wasn’t meant to be. Every failed business venture, they were there to invest in me again and encourage me to try again. When I had no place to stay, they gave me a couch to stay on. When i disappeared and wanted to be depressed and alone, they hunted me down and dragged me out of my hole and reminded me that I’m not in it alone. A real friend tells you what you need to hear, not a “yes man” that tells you what you want to hear. They will call you out on your %$@& when you are in the wrong. A real friend pulls you up when you are down, and curb stomp you down to reality if you get to ahead of yourself. They make your friendship a priority. My “real” friends will and have dropped everything that they are doing to come to my aide and i gladly return the favor. They actually forgive and not just tell you they do and drown you in guilt whenever you make a mistake. If you have to ask me if you are one of my real friends, then chances are that you are not one of the elite members of my life.
“Family is by blood, but real friends are by choice.”
But do not misunderstand, I will always be there for people that I am friendly too. But friendship is earned over many trials and tribulations. Everyone is not your best friend. But everyone has the potential to be a great friend if you are willing to put in the effort. i do not believe in putting in 50%/50% it is 100%/100% because i do not want a friend that only gives half effort.
I believe that people get friends and associates mixed up quite open. In laymen’s terms, associates are all the people in your phone that you never call unless you need something. The people that you have to be reminded of their birthday through Facebook notifications. The people you remember when you see them at social gatherings. We always need friends and a plethora of associates. But just be clear in who is who. because if you are depending on associates to help you move forward in life, you may be disappointed when those people have and never will make you a priority in their life.
Have fun and always meet and greet new people. you never know if the next person you meet or the associate you have known for over a decade will one day be your best friend.
God bless and have a great day.
~ Scriptures From A Mad Hand