Am I as good as I can be? What can I do to be better? To improve? What do I have to do? What must I learn? Whom must I surround myself with? Who must I be mentored by to get to where I want and need to be? These are questions that I wake up and go to sleep asking myself. I am obsessed with improving myself. There is a story that I would like to share.

A man was on his death bed that had accomplished many things in his life. In his dying moments his children asked him, “dad, if you could have changed anything in your life, what would you have done differently? He thought very briefly and responded with a encouraging grin, ‘I always wanted to make a positive change in the world but I did not realize until the end of my life that if I wanted to change the world, I needed to first start by changing and improving myself. Be a better father and husband. By being a better man in my home, I would have changed my home, my wife, my family, and my friends and had a better impact on you by being a constant role model and example. In turn, that would have impacted the people that you touched throughout your life thus changing the neighborhood. By making change in my neighborhood, our influence would have been an example to change our city. That would have changed our state and further expanded to our nation. And if we can change our nation, we would have inevitably changed the world but it all would have begun with me.”

We spend so much time pointing fingers at others, our government, our teachers, our businesses and schools and churches, our parents and friends and families to change our world instead of looking at the only thing in this world that we can change. “OURSELVES” I have learned that there are only 4 things that you can change in this world.

1) my thoughts
2) my words
3) my actions
4) my attitudes

Those are the only things in this world that we have unconditional control over. Anything else we can try to control but it is out of our control. Have you ever realized the more you try to control your situation or people in your life, the less in control you realize that you actually are. Things and people have a natural resistance to change or forceful manipulation. If I tell someone that they have to do something, even if they want to do it, they will resist you because they feel that you are taking away their freedom to change or decide of their own will.

The best techniques that I’ve learned to get someone to do something is to allow them to come to a conclusion that you want but in a way that they believe it was their idea or that they had a part of coming up with the idea. People think the art of persuasion is magic but it is a win/win situation as long as you are not manipulating or trying to use someone for your own benefit. Always try to find and develop resolutions in which all parties win and feel good in the end.

Our world has a natural desire to want to improve but sometimes it’s forces need to be guided in the correct path not by force but by guiding it in a path that it naturally would like to go. A basic strategy of fighting an opponent that is obviously stronger than you is to use the motion and energy of the opposing force to guide it in a path that it desires to go. That is the true way to create change in this world. By constantly improving one’s self and allowing the world to be guided by your example. Trickling down from everyone and thing that comes in contact with you and spreading in an unbeknownst way throughout the world. Like a ripple in the water, no one knows what effect that ripple will have but the fact of the matter is that it inevitably will.

Constantly improve yourself and you will be a guiding force In changing this world